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Gone to the Geek Side

January 18, 2010

I don’t know if it’s an emerging trend, but if you’ve been following the Geek v Frat Boy dating debacle over at Accidentally Sexy (or Geek to Me or Off the Markley) you’ve seen what can happen when a girl dips her toe in another dating pool, as it were. (You’ll also see some highly publicized ChicagoNow incest, but that’s another post all together.)

My whole life I’ve dated the same type of boy, to the point where my friends can pick my type out of a line up: square jaw, short hair, big shoulders, fratty, dominant and a past in either hockey, football or wrestling. I’m not exaggerating; every SINGLE one of the boys I’ve ever dated had at least three of these traits. Lately I’ve started to think, maybe this is my problem.

For the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to expand my horizons, as far as man-types are concerned. So when a very sweet, very funny, very smart guy asked me out, of course I accepted. One catch of course, this dream man is rather… um, how to say, nerdy? insecure? awkward? All of the above.

My geek and I have a great time together, full of goofiness and laughter and even some video games (don’t tell my sorority sisters). He’s my intellectual match and he has a lot to teach me. So why do I miss that confidence, the stoic air of dominance? I fear this makes me incredibly shallow, which is a harsh surprise. Why can’t I love him for all of his strengths? For the many ways he shows-up my typical man-type?

The bitter truth is probably routed in pheromones, but I’m no doctor? scientist? whatever you need to be to understand pheromones. All I know is, he just doesn’t rev my engine quite the same way.

Switching teams is harder than it looks. Once you’ve come to expect certain traits in a partner, it is hard to see the lack of those traits as anything but flaws. For now, I’ll be relegating this one to the dreaded “friend-zone.”

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