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The Jaded Man

February 5, 2010

(If you follow me on twitter, you know that Wednesday I wandered over to a party for prospective members at the Mid-America Club.)

I didn’t think it was possible.  Wednesday night, I met a man who is more jaded about love than any woman I’ve ever encountered. It was the strangest thing, most of his complaints about women are the exact complaints my friends have about men. Could we really be this alike? And what, exactly, does that mean for our eventual success or failure at finding a mate?

Jaded Man had some serious complaints about his past relationships:

1. All women want to escape serious relationships to “live life.” (Which he reads as “Sleep Around”)

2. He’s getting too old to be unmarried. (He’s 30)

3. The best age difference for a stable relationship is 5 years, and all the good 25-year-old girls are taken. (I’m 25)

4. He just lost 45 pounds and eats healthy and works out and WHY WONT SOMEONE LOVE HIM. (This is about the point where I made a break for it and went to find dessert.)

I know what you’re thinking, “he must have been ugly.” But no! In fact, before he had his third glass of wine and started spewing off at the mouth about women sucking, I thought he was pretty damned attractive.

How could it possibly be that his complaints are so similar to what plagues 20- and 30-something women? Could we possibly all be this alike underneath and still unable to find a match? Is it because we all have that 3rd glass of wine and end up unloading our personal failings on prospective dates?

Truthfully, the whole conversation completely unnerved me. If both men and women are experiencing the same frustrations with dating and loving, are we doomed to singledom? Are we all just a big sea of compatible parts, unable to find the right connection?

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. cyrae permalink
    February 5, 2010 7:39 pm

    It’s just my theory (and you could say I didn’t follow it myself), but is the problem born out of “trying” to meet someone? That’s why I really think just DOING what you like or are interested in/committed to is the best way to end up meeting someone that you are compatible with. Plus, it gives you a more natural topic of conversation other than something that sounds like a match.com profile recitation.

    [Of course, if what you like happens to be sitting in a library with your nose buried in reference books, then all bets are off.]

    • February 6, 2010 11:00 am

      yes. i think the “trying” implies that there is the possibility of failing. and when people sense they are failing they FREAK OUT.

  2. Rachel Zamstein permalink
    February 5, 2010 8:15 pm

    Don’t write him off.. sound good? Im just sayin.

    • February 6, 2010 10:57 am

      oh no no, he’s clearly crazy. besides he’s got a cute friends that has my number… so we shall see what happens there.

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