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Putting All My Eggs In One Boy-Basket

February 11, 2010

I really want this shirt

Tuesday I had a first date with a guy I met a few weeks ago. He’s Irish. Like legit Irish. Like from Ireland. In short, it went really well. I loved his accent, he seemed entertained by my stories. We were out until 1:30am. We shared a few kisses. He asked for a second date for only two days later. I woke up the next morning and was just glowing.

Naturally, I immediately got to work making my most infamous dating mistake: writing off my other options.

Let’s see, I thought, I have that date with Love Interest E on Friday. I should cancel. I don’t want to start anything with him if this Irishman thing is gonna get the go-ahead. I should call and revoke my application to join that private social club. Wont need it to meet men, now that Irishman and I have found each other. I wonder if we’ll get married in Chicago or Ireland. Will his family like me?

But no! No! This is the wrong approach. Men can sense this. Man-Radar alarms go off, alerting them that you have mentally committed to the idea that there might be a relationship here. They will turn tail and flee.

Mustering logic, I examined the situation: It was one date. Sure, it was really fun and sure, he asked you out again, but lets remember that there were a few rounds of drinks there. Was he slurring? Nothing is really official until he calls to confirm.

Say the second date does happen: you could discover something heinously incompatible in the first 5 minutes! What if he’s a Nickelback fan?* Then wouldn’t you be mad that you cut Love Interest E loose?

If you do cut your other options loose, are you more likely to obsess about Irishman? Will you be more vulnerable to rejection? The answer here is an unequivocal Yes.

I must remember there is NO RUSH. No rush to lock into a commitment. No rush to pick one boy over another. No rush to answer that looming question, “Where is this going?”

Time to let go and let it flow – keep my options open and see where the next few weeks take me, if anywhere. These things will sort themselves out naturally.

*(He’s not. I checked.)

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. February 11, 2010 9:46 am

    Obviously he’s not a Nickelback fan. He probably like Sinead O’ Connor or The Dropkick Murphy’s or Grindcore Bagpiping.

    Regardless of his musical repertoire, I had a tendency to do that when I was still single. Once I liked someone, I was completely and utterly unable to carry on with the whole “playing the field” thing.

    • February 11, 2010 10:00 am

      i dont mind a little Dropkick Murphy’s myself 🙂

      i think that’s a good rule! once its uncomfortable to keep other options open, time to let them go. my problem is i sabotage myself by over-committing too soon. not this time!

  2. February 12, 2010 12:58 pm

    I’m going to go with this Philosophy from now on. Every time I would start back up talking to the guy I fell for, I would immediately stop dating. Ignore my match emails, ignore contact from other suitors… and then he would pull away and I’ll be left with starting my hole dating life over…

    • February 12, 2010 1:16 pm

      its that same man-radar that alerts exes that you’ve been dumped and alerts dads that the thermometer has been adjusted.

  3. Christina permalink
    April 21, 2010 1:06 pm

    You shoulda called it a boysket. Get it?

  4. April 21, 2010 1:07 pm

    dangit. opportunity missed.

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