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The Freedom Of Goodbye

February 12, 2010

Wednesday night Super Ex and I met to discuss our future, or lack thereof.

It was the hardest, yet most mature conversation of my adult life.

From the time we met until now, we’d never had a break up. Sure, we’ve fought and dated other people, but there was always the implicit agreement that one day, we’d be back together. We’d been doing this dance for nearly 13 years.

Wednesday, we explicitly removed our implicit promise. We gave each other the gift of “I love you, but I release you.”

I want him to live the kind of life we’d envisioned for ourselves as a couple. We can’t give it to each other, so we must each go out and find it separately. I have never been so sad, yet so proud, to let someone go.

Now is the time for looking forward. I’m finally free of the plans I’d made as a teen and ready to find out what plans I will make as an adult. We are now free of the expectations we’d placed on each other. We are free to find someone that is more right for the adults we grew into.

After 13 years, we have finally broken up.

(BTW if you’re like, “WTF is a Super Ex?” read here, here, here and/or here.)

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5 Comments leave one →
  1. February 12, 2010 10:52 am

    Free to find someone that is more right for the adults we grew into…

    Love it – am really proud of you! Its a hard, hard thing to realize and accept and it took me longer than it took you, if that is any consolation 😉

    • February 12, 2010 10:59 am

      thank you Addison! it was a tough move to make, but it was the right one. now i’m excited to look forward!

  2. February 12, 2010 12:38 pm

    it makes me sad to read this… but sometimes letting go will save your insanity

    • February 12, 2010 12:45 pm

      it made me sad to write it! but kind of in a good way; in a mourning way – which makes me sure that I’ll mourn properly and then get the F over and get back out there 🙂

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