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Love Interest Requests Your Friendship. Confirm? Ignore?

February 24, 2010

I loved social networking in its purest form: stalking my friends and their drunk pictures. These days, my boss is always going on and on about tweeting this and Facebook posting that. My BOSS, people.

Anyway, the effect of all this social media marketing is that people have “appropriate-ized” their social profiles and and the content they broadcast so that when the Googles finds them out and makes all their misdeeds fully searchable, they don’t become immediately disowned, fired and/or doomed to singledom forever.

But even with our newly sanitized approach to internet profiles and communication, when is it appropriate to allow a new love interest to get a glimpse of our internet personas? I, for one, definitely say things on my Tweedles that I would never want a prospective boyfriend reading. Same goes for Facebook. Those pictures are HILARIOUS, and my family understands, but would he judge me for those? Do they make me out to be an immature, booze-driven, clinically insane mental patient? They sure do!

Love Interest E and I, having dated a few years ago, had already done the friend request dance. Now we’re stuck with it and I’ve ceased updating my status or adding pictures until we get through this “getting to re-know you” phase.

Then yesterday, he adds me on gtalk. What am I to do? Can’t very well deny it. So now there he sits, on my list, looking up at me from my screen accusingly like, “Why aren’t we engaged in witty banter? If there were a spark, wouldn’t we be all over this little IM box? Look at all this radio silence.”

Now even the logo seems like an ominous command. But I can’t fill 8 hours a day with content! It’s too much pressure! It’s like sitting in silence on the phone, frantically trying to think of something interesting to say. And the worst part is, I can’t hang up this phone!

OK, sure, I could block him and only unblock for certain periods during the day. But what if I do that right before he’s about to ask for dinner plans? Or right before he’s going to tell me how much he likes me?? Now we have this gaping opportunity for constant daily communication; Logical Me wants to slam it shut, but Emotional Me is waiting for it to serve a romantic purpose. The last thing I needed was yet another technological venue to neurotically overanalyze.

If it were up to me, the internet introduction would pace the real life courting process. Dating>Light Googling>Commitment>Facebook Friend Requests>Engagement>Exchange Twitter Handles>Marriage>Gtalk. But never Google Buzz, no, never.

8 Comments leave one →
  1. February 24, 2010 10:16 am

    …Marriage>Gtalk. HAHAHAHAHA! Well-prioritized. But then, Gtalk would consist of requests to pick up toilet paper before heading home to eat meatloaf in front of the television before passing out in a lazyboy.

    • February 24, 2010 10:20 am

      is it bad that I would prefer that? at least once we’re married he can’t x me out based on my weirdo status messages on there. or my incessant links to animal videos on youtube.

      • February 24, 2010 10:51 am

        I insist you add me to Gchat forthwith so I can take a gander at these notable status messages. Mine is usually, “Very busy…Tweeting” although I’m actually bothering @tokyofan with my mindless gibberish.

        Seriously, I hadn’t considered the complexities of a well-timed online handshake to represent a relationship. Makes me appreciate my 5.5 years with a very un-tech dude.

        • February 24, 2010 11:06 am

          untech dudes really simplify things. i used to be irritated that i couldn’t stalk them on FB. then I realized it also meant they couldn’t stalk me back. score!

          DM me that email address and you shall be so added. must warn you – awayers are luke warm at best right now due to the watchful eye of Love Interest E

  2. February 24, 2010 10:23 am

    don’t do it too soon. Or you’ll be like me in an never ending cycle of friending and unfriending people.

    Plus you don’t want to reveal too much too soon. A lot of things may be taken out of context and he should really get to know you before he sees EVERYTHING about you.

    The guys I’ve friended too soon always wondered who were the other dudes commenting on my stuff, what was my relationship to them etc… MEN are more jealous than women, and this is just giving them unnecessary ammunition.

    • February 24, 2010 11:18 am

      I completely agree! Its like, look dood, I have 600 friends. Naturally some are male. This does not mean that I’m interested in 300 other people not does it mean 300 other guys are interested in me.

      It’s easy to take things out of context too. I, for instance, almost always have a scandalous Text From Last Night on my gtalk status. this does not mean I have had the exact same night of belligerence as this person. not saying I haven’t, but not saying i have.

  3. cyrae permalink
    February 24, 2010 5:24 pm

    Even though I only foggily understand all of this – I do get the fact that the cyberworld does not allow you to discreetly close the blinds, as it were. Time to reread and reinterpret 1984 (the book). Turns out everyone can be Big Brother.

    It just goes to show, as Roseanne Rosanna Danna said DECADES ago on SNL, “It’s always something.”

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