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Getting In Good With The Friends, Wingwoman Style

March 10, 2010

Love Interest E has this sad-sack friend. Sad-Sack has been trying to nail down a relationship for years. He’s a dedicated and aggressive dater. He’s on several dating sites and goes on multiple dates a week. Nothing seems to work out for Sad-Sack. I suspect his bowl haircut is at fault.

Saturday night, during our all day date, Love Interest E and I went to a little lesbian karaoke bar. I love this place because there is nothing I like more than karaoke, except tacos and you can’t fault me for that. Sad-Sack rolled in there later in the evening, all depressed over having been recently rejected by a girl he’d managed to get to date number 8 with.

Well, no, I was not going to stand for that. I was going to make sure Sad-Sack found a girl. That night. In a lesbian karaoke bar. The odds were stacked against me.

And then I found Chick. Chick was at the bar with her friends Obese Divorcé and Reluctant Lesbian. Just from their names you can tell they were a pretty rocking crowd. Chick’s tolerance of them made one thing clear, she was a sucker for self-pity. She was also the only other straight girl in the bar. Worth a shot.

Hey Sad-Sack, I said, Why don’t you head over there and chat up Chick? Being the undeterable (I made a word!) dater that he is, he slid right over and struck up conversation. Now was my chance to show Love Interest E that I, too, cared about his friends getting laid. I bought a round of beers and parked myself right in between Obese Divorcé and Reluctant Lesbian and I chatted. Oh! Did I chat! About husbands and diets (Obese Divorcé) and unibrows and self-hatred (Reluctant Lesbian).

And yes, Sad-Sack and Chick did go home together that night, after I assured her she was making “an incredible decision.” Love Interest E and posse nearly threw me a parade – I had accomplished in one night what they’d all been attempting for months, possibly years. Rumor has it, Chick even stayed for breakfast the next morning. A finer wingwoman this town has never seen.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. March 10, 2010 1:19 pm

    lol Sad Sack.. I sure hope love interest E, never finds this blog!

    • March 10, 2010 2:27 pm

      you and me both, sister.

      and for the record: i actually really like Sad-Sack, he’s just kinda mopey about the lady situation 🙂

  2. March 11, 2010 10:14 am

    You got Eeyore laid.

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