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Gimme A Break

April 28, 2010

Well, here we are. Because no one wanted to definitively end things, Love Interest E and I will be taking a little vacation so that he can clear his head and I can regain my footing. There’s nothing quite like a crazyman freakout to jostle everyone a few steps back.

In the meantime, how shall I entertain myself? I’m sure as shit not gonna sit around on my laurels, pining and waiting to be dumped or taken back. That, y’all, is just not my style.

For one, do I even want to be back with someone who, by his own admission, jumped in wholeheartedly, swam around and then suddenly freaked the fuck out? That doesn’t sound very secure to me. Love Interest E may have just revealed his fatal relationship flaw: this man is a Closet Commitmentphobe. And they are the very worst kind. Maybe this “break” is my sign to make a break for it… throw on the brakes… further puns.

On the other hand, I’ve yet to date someone so very on my wavelength in so very many ways. If he does come back, can I really crucify him over one mental breakdown?

While I mull it over, I’m gonna see what kind of trouble I can get myself into.

I’ve got a week before I’m even due to hear from E, which gives me at least 7 days to remind myself how many fish there are out there in the sea. So if you need me, I’ll be at the bar, or the lakefront, or the coffee shop, or my fancy-pants social club making eye-contact with anyone who glances my way.

The best part about a break is, both parties get one.

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20 Comments leave one →
  1. April 28, 2010 7:54 am

    Bea, are you really not going to wander out in the dark in your conservative nightgown singing “Hopelessly Devoted to You”…??

    Tsk tsk. 😉

    In all seriousness, good for you. Maybe after at least a week you’ll be able to figure out how YOU feel about him too. Absence for me doesn’t make the heart grow fonder…it makes the heart figure out what it really wants. Hopefully that will hold true for you as well. Til then…enjoy livin’ it up in the best, most vibrant city in America. (Er…in this small-town gal’s opinion, anyway.)

    • April 28, 2010 9:58 am

      i was thinking more like some karaoke Lily Allen or Alanis…

      although, i guess E gets our favorite karaoke bar during the trial separation…

  2. April 28, 2010 8:11 am

    Men! Actually this happened with FF and I and it was the best thing we could’ve done. Circumstances were different but we’ve discussed how we wouldn’t be where we are now without going through that step. I wish the best for you – whatever that turns out to be. And hey, I’ll have a drink for ya tonight – and keep my eyes open for non-commitment phobe hotties 🙂

    • April 28, 2010 9:59 am

      encouraging! i’m interested to see what happens and how my feelings change or stay the same during the break. maybe we’ll be stronger together or happier not together after all is said and done.

  3. Christina permalink
    April 28, 2010 9:06 am

    Alright girl I love you, I love your blog, but you can’t crucify him over a “mental breakdown”…remember your drunken ridiculousness last week? He took you back when you weren’t at your best, girl. Men suck when they act this way and it can hurt and feel unfair, I’m not slighting your feelings. But I think you have to just take care of you right now and leave him alone. When you pursue he’s gonna wanna run. Retreat and he’ll be curious why you aren’t all upset over it…and he’ll pursue you.

    Just remember to keep it that way if he comes back. I’d not give in fully for a long while. Don’t punish him or be bitter, but you’ve gotta keep him pursuing you. Give him the “rules” treatment. Meanwhile, you can decide if he’s worth keeping. Good luck! 🙂

    • April 28, 2010 10:01 am

      oh, yep yep, i meant like “can i really?!?” as in, I can’t. he was a saint after my rampage. and he’ll get forgiveness if we decide to continue to give it a go.

  4. April 28, 2010 10:12 am

    I still think you should’ve gone with the wedgie option.

  5. Jaysey permalink
    April 28, 2010 11:08 am

    Best of luck with the break. At least you have a good attitude about it! Live it up–stay busy, meet LOTS of men!

  6. April 28, 2010 11:24 am

    “On the other hand, I’ve yet to date someone so very on my wavelength in so very many ways. If he does come back, can I really crucify him over one mental breakdown?”

    Crucify, no. However, you should take into account the reason for the freakout. And, you need to hav a clearly explained reason. “I was just scared” is only a symptom, not a diagnosis. Remember, the freakout is an E problem and if he doesn’t understand it at least somewhat, the illness, whatever it may be, may reoccur.

    So, if it comes to it, don’t be afraid to ask him questions.

    Hey, it could always be worse. You could be one of the many women dealing with premature ejunkulation: Shamless plug to a very funny blog

    • April 28, 2010 11:26 am

      Oh, could you fix that link for me via edit.

      That was my internet fail for the day!

  7. April 28, 2010 11:42 am

    ok listen up because I’m about to give you a non cynical, non sarcastic advice, which is rare for me.

    Do not listen to people who don’t know the situation, don’t know you or don’t know him for advice. So many times I feel like I have fucked stuff up because of the advice I have received on the fucking blog instead of just going with my own intuition. Friends are selfish creatures because they want best for you because you’re their friend but usually give advice to comfort the immediate wounds rarely thinking about the future.

    You have a week to assess what happened. From what I’ve gathered, he doesn’t like drama and is looking for a relationship and until now he might have been going in that direction. Your little drunken freak out may have set off a yellow flag in his head about you which probably made him become confused if you’re really the type of a person he wants to be with.

    Yes I agree that men are weird… but they are weird because they are never honest in why they do the things they do, there is always a reason to everyone’s actions.

    If you’ve watched Friends, and know what “But we were on a break” means… think about it. Don’t do anything that could get you in more hot water if you decide that he’s the guy you want to continue to get to know.

  8. April 28, 2010 1:59 pm

    Good time to consider what you want. That is what is most important. Good Luck!

  9. April 28, 2010 4:29 pm

    The headline on this post was misleading. When one says “Gimme a break,” I fully expect at the very least an allusion to Kit Kat bars. I feel misled, Bea. For shame.

    Nonetheless, breaks can be beneficial. For your cat. Welcome to my world. Next time bring chocolate.

    • April 28, 2010 4:37 pm

      Man! I really looked for a good Gimme a break of that Kit Kat bar image for a while too. Would have looked harder if I knew how much it meant to you.

      In other news, my cat is already loving it. She’s smothering me. We may need a break.

  10. April 28, 2010 5:44 pm

    I like the wedgie idea a lot too…but you’re on the right track. Get out with your girls, wear dangly earrings and flirt till your heart’s content. What I hate about ‘breaks’ is that in the pursuit of a love interest, we tend to put other friends on the back burner to make room for our relationship. Then when you find yourself on a ‘break,’ you can’t find anyone to hang with! Maybe that was just my experience…

  11. May 2, 2010 2:09 pm

    Good for you, seeing a “commitmentphobe” for what he is. Too many times, we go around asking what we did or could have done differently. Not this time! Sometimes it really is about them.

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