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Boys Are Crazy, Too!

May 17, 2010

Andddd we’re back. An apologetic Love Interest E has recovered from his freak out and we’re working on getting back to normal.

Turns out the problem was that Love Interest E had some how managed to hype himself into thinking that everyone in his life (I’m talking siblings, parents, friends, girlfriends of friends, me, coworkers, mail delivery people, senators, feminists and city workers) was expecting him to make a “serious decision” in 3 months. I kid you not, this guy was talking about feeling pressured to… propose. Repeat, propose.

Now, judging by the title of the blog, it might be easy to assume I’d be totally down with any proposal that comes my way, the sooner the better. But, let me tell you, I would never want a question like that from someone I’d been dating less than a year. That’s just not kosher, y’all.

Screw the ring, I want a stable relationship with long term possibilities. And once I have it, if I have to wait years for a ring, then so be it. A ring is not the definition of a relationship. The relationship must be able to stand on its own. And to discover a relationship’s stability, there’s no substitute for time.

For me, this relationship is no where near being ready for any decision like that. Um Hello, we do not even have L-word exchanges yet. Engagement is miles, miles down the road.

Love Interest E admitted it himself, “You know, some times boys are crazy, too.”

Refreshing, hmm? Usually we ladies take the heat for crazy over-analysis of relationships. So much so, that we forget that men are not always calm and collected. They don’t always possess the penchant for practical thought that we attribute to the male brain. They worry and feel pressure and get upset and fall in love and spaz out just like we do. Maybe we aren’t all that different after all.

So, without attributing more meaning to this little blip than it deserves, some small celebrations are in order: For once, it wasn’t me manufacturing pressure and meaning and urgency and all those serious things that crush fledgling romances! Huzzah! Progress!

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. Rachel Zamstein permalink
    May 17, 2010 7:34 am

    Hey he sounds like a good un!!!!!!!! likes him for you!!!!

  2. May 17, 2010 7:37 am

    Welcome back lady! Hope you had wonderful weekend. FF taught me that boys are crazy too and it was the best lesson I ever learned. Unfortunately you have to witness to believe it. Sorry you guys had to endure what you did but I’m glad E was able to communicate with you. Sounds like the makings of a long term relationship. XO

  3. May 17, 2010 8:00 am

    Yay! I’m so glad you’re back, and hope you had a great staycation.

    Also, props to L.I.E. for admitting that he’s not perfect either. 😉

  4. May 17, 2010 9:44 am

    Well, I’m glad he wised up.

  5. May 17, 2010 9:59 am

    Oh, this is bad. He’s broken the Code and I’m going to have to confiscate his Man card now.

    • May 17, 2010 12:05 pm

      Ooh ooh! Stick a rainbow sticker on it for admitting he has feelings! Boys aren’t allowed those.

      • May 17, 2010 1:05 pm

        It’s going to have to be a Hello Kitty sticker. I’m all out of rainbows at the moment.

        • May 17, 2010 4:26 pm

          i definitely briefly dated a guy who was into hello kitty.
          his man card must be long gone ;).

  6. May 17, 2010 11:18 am

    Guys version of crazy is like the undertow of a river… All calm on the surface but all over the place underneath. (for the most part)

    Girls version of crazy is whitewater rapids… You need a helmet and a life jacket if you have any chance of getting through 😉

    Ba-Dum Dum Ching

    LOL… Thank you, thank you… I’ll be here all night!

  7. May 17, 2010 11:57 am

    I think most guys experience this kind of pressure, even if it isn’t directly from our significant other. These pressures are an intrinsic part of our society and cultural backgrounds.

    While, many of these things have changed over the years and become more liberal, it should be noted that the defualt setting in society was settle down and make family happen. So, when men find a woman who has patience and are in no hurry, we don’t really know what to make of it because, well, it’s not what we’ve been told to expect.

    And, let’s be fair. How many women “say it”, but don’t actually “mean it” (both conscious and subconscious ). We are used to women who say they are OK with taking it slow, but tell us later, “Of course I wasn’t OK with it.”

    Consider some knowledge broughten! (so not a word)

  8. May 17, 2010 12:23 pm

    Yes, I have seen the man crazy in a similar shape and form also. We women think we’re the only ones dealing with the PRESSURE, but men are living with it too.

    Most recently, I have also dealt with the divorced man crazy, which is full of so much fear of making THE wrong decision all over again. Even when they see something amazing, they might fall off the face of the earth because they are so afraid of messing things up.

    I am so glad Love Interest E owned up to his fear and came back to you with an open heart. Enjoy!

  9. stineybean permalink
    May 18, 2010 12:23 pm

    Huzzah!

  10. May 18, 2010 3:19 pm

    Women are crazy. Men are clueless. Getting it right requires that you find a clueless that fits your crazy and then you hang on for dear life.

    Which makes it all sound simpler than it is, but OH MY GOD.

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