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Drumroll Please

October 28, 2010

OK, so normally pictures of me are, like, totally off limits on the blog. I’m camera shy, y’all. But I have to make an exception in order to share with you the much anticipated before and after shots from my thigh reduction.

Here I am before. [Note: My head is not actually a Tiffany’s box. Although that would be sweet.]

Now, please, give me a little leeway on the outfit. I can’t be expected to look my best all the time. I was at a Blues Fest with my mom and StepDave; it was raining and I hate music fests. And of course, that jacket is not doing me any favors (which, you will notice, does not deter me from performing some serious live band karaoke)… but concentrate on those thighs.

Remember in The Little Mermaid when Ursula gets all huge and her tentacles burst through everything as they bloom into obesity? That’s how my thighs were. They came out of nowhere and just plumped out over everything; overpowering jeans, gushing out of shorts and defying any fabric that dared try to restrain them.

I coexisted with my thighs for so long via a denial unmatched outside of an episode of Intervention. Pictures are usually from the waist up, bathroom counters hide thighs from mirrors and good friends can stop self evaluation dead in it’s tracks. So… I just had to avoid looking down.

This is the photo that brought my denial to it’s knees.

Seeing this picture solidified what I’d feared. The problem was way worse than I thought. It’s not that I was just a teensy bit disproportionate; rather my bigger half was tricking everyone into seeing an obese person when they were really looking at cute little me.

This is me lately. A few weeks ago, actually; I’ve lost a little more swelling since this one.

As a kid I imagined what it would feel like to take my fat off like a pair of hockey shorts. I wondered what it would be like to run without my thighs plastered against one another from calf to coochie. I marveled at people that owned corduroys that weren’t threadbare in the crotch after just one wearing. And you know what? It’s better than I imagined.

Now the trunk matches the tree and the apples look delicious, do they not? I’d go so far as to say they could be mistaken for pineapples but I’m not certain pineapples grow on trees. I’m a blogger, not a botanist. Lay off me.

One more time, with feeling:

So was it worth those weeks of misery? You bet your sweet little proportionate ass cheeks it was. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

18 Comments leave one →
  1. Alicia permalink
    October 28, 2010 7:13 am

    You look great, Bea! 🙂

  2. October 28, 2010 7:26 am

    You look fantastic! So happy for you. 🙂

  3. October 28, 2010 7:57 am

    O.M.G. LOVE! I’m part of the “I’ve always had big thighs” club and it blows. There’s nothing like trying to find shorts (oh hells no) or jeans and most of the time they’re loose in the waist. I was once told that I wouldn’t look so big if I didn’t have such big thighs and hips. Gee thanks…So I totally feel your pain and someday may definitely think about this. There’s nothing like not being able to get a dress on over your hips/thighs. Congrats on your awesomeness!

  4. October 28, 2010 8:05 am

    “from calf to coochie.”

    And then I died.

  5. Cambosmash permalink
    October 28, 2010 8:19 am

    That’s why my pants go paper thin in the crotch after weeks of wearing? My thighs? *tear

  6. October 28, 2010 8:56 am

    Look at that smoke show!

    I’ve had minor “work” done on areas that I was self-conscious about, and I’ve never looked back either! Very, very happy for you!

  7. October 28, 2010 9:02 am

    You look great! but the outfit in the first picture is much better than the second. go pack!

  8. dorothyn21 permalink
    October 28, 2010 9:10 am

    You look amazing!

  9. October 28, 2010 10:30 am

    You look wonderful! I’m glad you’re happy with it and enjoy the “new” you!

  10. October 28, 2010 11:20 am

    Wow! I’ve always been skeptical of cosmetic surgery, but your story has made me change my mind. Congrats!!

  11. Janet permalink
    October 28, 2010 12:00 pm


  12. October 28, 2010 12:06 pm

    Looking good! And as long as it makes you happier, it’s definitely worth it!

  13. stineybean permalink
    October 28, 2010 12:54 pm


  14. October 28, 2010 4:56 pm

    you look amazing!! wow, i’m so happy for you.

  15. November 1, 2010 2:37 pm

    Late to the game due to vacation but…HOORAY! So happy for you 🙂

  16. jessicainthenow permalink
    November 2, 2010 7:49 am

    This is a serious change. Congrats on having a proportioned body you can love!

  17. November 3, 2010 8:54 pm

    I’m not sure why your shirt says 54, because you’re clearly No. 1.

    That’s right. I commented about your top in a post about your trunk. What of it?

  18. December 27, 2010 9:34 pm

    Wow! You look fabulous! Yo go girl…

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