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Healthy Living Is Making Me Fat

March 30, 2011

I’m having a fat day.

Which would be totally acceptable if I’d spent the last few days noshing on tacos and referring to reaching for my wine as “my workout”… as per usual.

But my fat day is extra bogus because for the last week, I’ve been good. Like really good… for me anyway.

I’ve been getting daily exercise and hitting my calorie goals. Last night I was even 150 calories under my goal. That’s enough for a glass of red wine y’all, but I didn’t have one.

I even went to Bikram yoga last night and sweated more in an hour than I have in the past year.

(While we’re on the topic, let me tell you a little about Bikram yoga: It’s gross. By the end of the class, the room smells like… people. Sweaty, farty people. Never go to Bikram with someone you plan on sleeping with in the near future. “Lost my boner” is an understatement.)

Anyway, back to the issue at hand: I should feeling motherf-ing tiny.

Instead, my scale is reading 1.5 pounds more than yesterday. Also, I’m pretty sure my thighs are creeping back towards disproportionate. And that… makes me HULKSMASH mad.

If there is anything worse than dieting and exercising, it’s dieting and exercising and then feeling fatter than before. It makes me want to say to hell with it and get tacos for lunch.

And also for dinner.

All those rosy cheeked health nuts will say the same shit, “But you’ll feel so much better!”

No, fuck that. I do not feel better. I feel hungry and tired and grumpy and like I want some pizza. I’m just not cut out for this healthy living shit.

If the equation is (diet + exercise) = (tacos + wine + couch + 1.5 lbs) than guess who’s going back to basics? After all, I was maintaining a lower weight when I was eating whatever I wanted.

First person to say “Muscle weighs more than fat” is totally getting a kick to the chin. I can do that now. I’ve been practicing yoga.

9 Comments leave one →
  1. The Single Girl permalink
    March 30, 2011 10:23 am

    I know the feeling, you’re doing really really well, healthy eating and exercise wise, and then when you look in the mirror you can’t see even the smallest change. Keep going though, you’ll thank yourself.

    You know what they say, ‘When the going gets tough, the tough get going’.

    Good luck!

  2. March 30, 2011 11:15 am

    Muscle does not weigh more than fat. A pound of muscle = a pound of fat.

    Hang in there. It’s hard to survive the fat days when you know you’ve been good. But you can.

  3. gullygirl11 permalink
    March 30, 2011 12:04 pm

    I had this day a couple weeks ago! I’m better now and on track, but still tired and I could totally go for some pizza.

  4. March 30, 2011 12:34 pm

    I never ever weigh myself, I determine everything based off of how my jeans fit. That 1.5 lbs could be due to many things, none of which I will list for you (I don’t like getting kicked in the face).

    That being said, keep yo chin up gurl, and if all else fails, that’s why they invented ex-lax.

    Just kidding!

  5. March 30, 2011 3:24 pm

    I feel the same way sometimes, but then I stopped weighing myself completely. I realized I didn’t care how much I weighed, I cared more about how I looked (that sounds kind of vain… oh well 😉 ). It took awhile too. For awhile I dreamt about large pepperoni pizzas with thick crusts. BUT (and this took all the self-restraint I had) I resisted. And eventually, I saw a change. So yeah, it sucks now. But hold out for that day when you wake up and you’re like DAMN I look good 😉

  6. cyrae permalink
    March 30, 2011 4:30 pm


    Not to tell you what to do, but did you realize you can now use Weight Watchers TOTALLY on-line? Yes, they’ve changed the point system recen tly – so forget everything you may have ever known about it and try it out for a month or so.

  7. April 1, 2011 3:26 pm

    I think I gained weight while reading this post. Damn it, Bea.

  8. April 5, 2011 9:33 am

    Weight Watchers is for schmucks. Not working for me AT ALL.

    Umm. I feel the exact same way, by the way. I think part of why it’s easy to gain weight is because sometimes we have to overcompensate to feel even mildly satisfied by “boring” healthy food…or, if you’re like me, you FLIP OUT all of a sudden and realize you’ve eaten a Thai restaurant out of its curry supply. Or cleaned your freezer out of the Ben & Jerry’s you bought two days ago.

    Two pints of it.


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